Bible

As I continued scouring the internet for more information, I learned the special agent was a narcotics officer who was killed during an undercover drug deal gone bad. Instantly, a flood of emotions and memories of when I was a narcotics agent for the TBI rushed through my mind. How many times had I lived through similar scenarios? I vividly recalled a couple such incidents where, if not by the mercies of God, the news headlines would have been about my tragic death. 

After several days of fasting, an IV, and a boatload of meds, I was up and somewhat going. I don't think I've ever been so glad to be heading home. I was looking forward to spending time with the family and getting 100% healthy. But as soon as I walked into the house, there she was. My little girl saw me and ran into my arms. I loved every moment of it and yet I cringed. My kids had spent the week at Vacation Bible Experience and I could tell my daughter was getting sick. 

I was reading about George Whitefield and found that he would read his Bible and pray over every line. He felt that it was important not to speed through the Scriptures. Instead, he would take his time allowing God to reveal to him the lesson that He would have him learn pertaining to the passage. Later, George Müller read about Whitefield’s Bible study practices and adopted this method of Bible reading. Both men claimed that they would learn more of the Bible and of God in one sitting than they had in previous months. As I read these accounts, I felt a burning in my soul to follow suit.

I was asked a couple of weeks ago if I would be available to perform her funeral. "If my schedule permits, I’m most willing," I responded. Nevertheless, I cringe at the thought. It is true; I want to be there. I just wish things were different. I wish my visit was for a happy occasion. Maybe a wedding or a child dedication. But death—why does it have to be this way?

I’m certainly not the only one who has felt this way. In fact, the question of why has likely passed through the minds of every human being since the fall of Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden.